Food for thought… do you think we can know what happiness is or really appreciate it without experiencing times of being sad?
I recently listened to a podcast that featured Dr John Di Martini. He is a really interesting man and I suggest you google him if you haven’t already. In this podcast, he spoke about how there are always two sides to every coin. It really got me thinking, and for the life of me I can’t think of anything without an opposite…
Healthy relationships are central to our happiness. Full stop. It’s a basic human psychological need to have positive relationships in our lives to feel like we belong and have feelings of worthiness. In a sense, we all want the same things, because it’s in our DNA. Whether we like it or not, we all strive for love and connection with each other. So it only makes sense to have some strategies up our sleeves for when our relationships aren’t smooth sailing, and when we want more attention and productivity from the people around us. The secret is compassion, my friend.
I recently read an article in the newspaper about homelessness. What really caught my attention about it was the research outlined in the article about how labels significantly impact people’s wellbeing.
In a nut shell, people without a stable home commonly take on the label as being homeless, but not always. A lot of people who have no place to live claim they are not ‘homeless’ because their situation may be complicated. What was interesting but somewhat no surprise, was that those who described themselves as homeless had significantly lower self-esteem and wellbeing compared to those who rejected the label, even when having no place to live.
When it comes to mental health, when we use a label to describe ourselves, we begin to think and act in ways that are associated with that label.
Love is the most important word in the English speaking language. We have made billions of movies about it and even more music. Psychologists recognise it as an emotional human need. But I think what makes love so complex is that it’s not only a feeling, but a choice we make. Love is a verb or a ‘doing’ word.
I think that to begin understanding the opposite sex, we have to recognise our differences so we can accept them. Once we know how we are both wired differently, it’s easier to understand each other and why we react and behave so differently.
A lot of people write about using first impressions and using them as a marketing strategy. For example, how to make a good first impression for job interviews, meeting new people, engaging people in your website from a quick glance or other business purposes. While I think this is a fantastic way to make use of this amazing innate human ability, it’s helpful to know that first impressions aren’t always helpful when they last.
Did you know that for a man to realise a woman is interested in him, she has to flirt seven times before he will notice?
A social study observed both men and women in a social setting. At first, it was a room full of fifteen women. Later in the experiment, fifteen men entered the room. It’s so interesting to see how the women instantly changed their behavior. The girls started flicking their hair and talking louder… I wonder why?
The way that I feel loved is completely different to the way that my twin sister feels loved. Even though we are quite similar and speak many languages of our own, we actually speak a completely different love languages.
I feel loved and cared for when people hug me, put their arm around me or even put their hand on my shoulder. Jane, my twin sister, is not a physical touch person and does not like me trying to hug her… sad face.
If you haven’t already heard the well known saying ‘show me your closest friends and I will predict your future,’ then it’s now time to think about what this means.
Whether you are aware of it or not, the people you surround yourself with have a huge impact on who you are and what you see as important. And the great thing is, we get to chose who we associate with.
I love to say that happiness is contagious, because I truly believe it. When you’re around positive people who are happy, smiling and laughing, how do you usually feel? And when you’re around someone who always points out the negative or has a negative comment to add to most things, that can rub off on you, too. So it’s important to chose wisely when it comes to people you hang out with.
Ever felt like your not a real part of your friendship group? Or feel like your friends are doing things that you don’t feel a part of? Guess what, I have good news. You’re normal, and having these feelings aren’t uncommon.
Feeling excluded can happen for many reasons…
- Something happened on the weekend and you weren’t there. Your friends are talking about it but you feel like you can’t contribute.
- You’re sitting at the end of the table with your friendship group during class and sometimes your friends backs are to you. You can’t hear them all the time and they are having discussions that you’re not a part of.
- You’ve been away sick or have missed some school time. Things have happened while you were gone and you’re feeling out of it.