I always think to myself that when I have problem or feel strongly about something, I only have two choices. I can either do something about it, and when I can’t, I change the way I think about it. For example, I feel really strongly about my dog being allowed up on the couch. Can I do something about it? Sure. I can train him to know he is not allowed up there. But when I also own my house and my dog with my partner Zac, who loves to cuddle the dog on the couch, I have to change my thinking about it.
I could waste so much time and energy being mad and frustrated that the dog is on the couch. Or, I can change my thinking to say, ‘I accept that it is not only my decision to make. The dog will be up on the couch. I accept that. But perhaps I’ll just put a rug down where he sits.’ See what I mean? But I’m not going to sell you short with just the two options, I did promise you three, so keep reading…
1. Check with yourself
I’m a big believer in thinking ‘everything we need to know is exposed to us’, or ‘I absorb all that I need to know’, and ‘all that I need to know is revealed to me’. Take your pick.
Changing my thinking to these affirmations relieves any anxiety I have when facing a problem. It allows me to build myself up and trust the decisions that I’m making.
So when you’re facing a problem, chances are you are smart enough to work it out on your own. And even if you don’t believe it, tell yourself that you are and you will begin to notice changes within you. Give yourself the confidence and back yourself! And tell yourself, you’ve got this.
2. Phone a friend
Ok, so you pumped up your own tyres to make the greatest decision of your life aaaaaaaand you were wrong. OR, you still need to ask someone for confirmation before you make that decision… That’s ok! That’s what friends are for! Chances are, whatever your problem, a friend has been through something similar, so they can be a great problem solving strategy. Sometimes when you’re not sure what is going on inside your head and you have some serious head noise going on, trying to explain it and talking to someone else about it can clarify it for yourself and can help understand your own thoughts.
3. Seek an expert
So turns out your friends are just as clueless as you are when solving this problem. That’s ok, because that’s why life invented mums and dads, aunts and uncles, cousins, brothers and sisters, and even teachers! Believe it or not. The expert you chose will depend on the problem you are facing.
What I mean by an expert here is someone else outside of your friendship group, who can look at the problem from a different point of view. These people can help you initiate change if needed, keep you safe, or just help you to look at the problem a different way – and sometimes this can solve the problem without any change taking place.
Obviously all situations are different, and if you have a problem that is causing you pain, it’s a good idea to skip a few steps and go straight to an expert or an authority figure when things are not ok!